[Ronan just shakes his head at the question in a simple but honest answer.]
It was always there. I just didn't understand it. Too much shit was going on, I think. I didn't really use it until... fuck I don't know, a few months before we were kidnapped to the last world.
[There's a pause, before he offers Bruce a grim little smile- proud and weary at the same time.]
Chainsaw. She was the first time I did it on purpose.
[Ronan shoots him a look, then realizes that Bruce doesn't know him as well as Gansey does, probably can't read every nuance behind his expression. It's a sobering realization, and so he explains, shortly-]
You really want a monster tearing up the place? I'll stay here- I'm not going home for awhile- but I'm also not gonna fuck up the place that I helped build.
I could bring back something a lot worse than bees. [Without the glass in his hands to fidget with, he twists at the leather bands around his wrist instead, glancing toward the door he'd kicked in earlier.]
[It sounds dismissive, but he keeps it in mind. Bruce hurting people, destroying things. It seems so out of place with who he is that Ronan is forced to believe it, to put the knowledge of it away for further consideration.
Later, maybe. For now-]
Look- find Parrish for this stuff, okay? He needs this- [he just sort of makes a motion toward Bruce, meaning compassion maybe, or kindness or understanding. All the things Bruce has tried to give him that he's been trying to reject.] -more than me.
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[He wonders, stroking a thoughtful fingertip over his mouth.]
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It was always there. I just didn't understand it. Too much shit was going on, I think. I didn't really use it until... fuck I don't know, a few months before we were kidnapped to the last world.
[There's a pause, before he offers Bruce a grim little smile- proud and weary at the same time.]
Chainsaw. She was the first time I did it on purpose.
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[He thinks he remembers there being a name- and of course, that'd make sense.]
She's beautiful. And so devoted to you.
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[He snorts a little in laughter, but it's obviously clear that the devotion goes both ways.]
I left her at home. Didn't want her picking up my bad habits. [A little halfhearted shrug.] Parrish will take care of her if I'm gone for too long.
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[Says Bruce, sipping his own tea.]
I remember when that- person. Creature. Took a swipe at her.
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I'm going to kill him next time I see him.
[There's a pause, and he frowns because he figures that the demon attacking Chainsaw is probably not worth a death warrant in Bruce's eyes.]
-not just for Chainsaw, but. That's part of it.
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[Asks Bruce, patiently- not confrontationally, but really- he sees a lot of intention but not a lot of actual possibility here.]
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[A little crass, and Ronan gives him a pointed look. Given everything that Bruce has just found out about him...]
I have shit I can do. When I'm more prepared.
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[But he holds his palms up, sure already that he wants no part of it.]
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I'm gonna stay here for awhile.
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[More importantly. He hops down and steadies himself with a hand against the counter.]
I don't want to break the door down again.
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[But. Doable.]
There isn't a second lock upstairs.
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[Eventually. Ronan sighs and scrubs at the back of his head, fingers carding through his short hair.]
-later. I won't sleep here again.
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You really want a monster tearing up the place? I'll stay here- I'm not going home for awhile- but I'm also not gonna fuck up the place that I helped build.
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[Seriously, he thinks Ronan won't know until he knows.]
-why would it get torn up?
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I could bring back something a lot worse than bees. [Without the glass in his hands to fidget with, he twists at the leather bands around his wrist instead, glancing toward the door he'd kicked in earlier.]
It's fine. I know how to stay awake.
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[Is his instruction.]
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Sure, doctor. Thanks for the tea.
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[Bruce tells him, shortly.]
So if you need to talk- well, next time, maybe.
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[It sounds dismissive, but he keeps it in mind. Bruce hurting people, destroying things. It seems so out of place with who he is that Ronan is forced to believe it, to put the knowledge of it away for further consideration.
Later, maybe. For now-]
Look- find Parrish for this stuff, okay? He needs this- [he just sort of makes a motion toward Bruce, meaning compassion maybe, or kindness or understanding. All the things Bruce has tried to give him that he's been trying to reject.] -more than me.
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[He agrees, standing as well.]
I'll do that now.
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Tell him I'm here. Not- dead somewhere.
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[He promises, and then moves to slip out, to go do just that.]