It's- I don't know. I meant to do it and I didn't.
[There's not really another way to describe it. Ronan inspects the pills he's handed for a moment, recognizing the familiarity of them before he takes them, washes them down with a deep drink of water.]
Unless you're hung up on the people thing. Believe me when I say that taking Dick goddamn Gansey out of my head would create a hell of a lot more problems then it would solve. He turned into wasps in the dream, and I- you know, it just happened.
I'm hung up on every part of it. It's like nothing I've ever come across, and on a scientific level, it's fascinating. I'm sorry that you have to be this secretive about it because I'd love to study the ability properly- but as someone with a similar problem, I can understand why that's never going to happen.
[Promising, assuredly.]
So what happens when you're doing it on purpose? How did you bring back those pills for me?
[Ronan watches Bruce for a moment, nodding in agreement- it's not going to happen. Gansey was the one who wanted to know more about this from a logical, scientific perspective, and Gansey is gone.]
You know how sometimes you can imagine how something feels before you touch it? It's that, like- dreaming is the imagining and actually touching it is real. Like- fuck, I don't know, I have to hold it and then I really hold it, and then I wake up and it's in my hands.
[He looks down at his hands then, which are still clasped around the water- which he drinks from, almost draining the glass.]
The place I go to, it's different than how other people dream. That's why it works, I think.
[That manages to get a little smile out of him, sharp and dangerous, like barbed wire.]
You called it 'junk science'. [But he takes the tea gratefully, despite having already drank quite a bit of liquid. He's dehydrated, he feels like shit, and this is better than anything else he could be handed right about now.]
It's a real place, but it's also not. Like, if you were in my world, you could go there yourself, but I can go there when I'm asleep. I can shape it, do whatever I want. I don't get- what, alien invasions or zombies or whatever it is you guys dream about. [He shrugs.] Just there.
[Ronan just shakes his head at the question in a simple but honest answer.]
It was always there. I just didn't understand it. Too much shit was going on, I think. I didn't really use it until... fuck I don't know, a few months before we were kidnapped to the last world.
[There's a pause, before he offers Bruce a grim little smile- proud and weary at the same time.]
Chainsaw. She was the first time I did it on purpose.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[He says, putting the pills and glass into his hands, to make sure he drinks.]
What do you mean?
no subject
[There's not really another way to describe it. Ronan inspects the pills he's handed for a moment, recognizing the familiarity of them before he takes them, washes them down with a deep drink of water.]
Unless you're hung up on the people thing. Believe me when I say that taking Dick goddamn Gansey out of my head would create a hell of a lot more problems then it would solve. He turned into wasps in the dream, and I- you know, it just happened.
no subject
[Promising, assuredly.]
So what happens when you're doing it on purpose? How did you bring back those pills for me?
no subject
You know how sometimes you can imagine how something feels before you touch it? It's that, like- dreaming is the imagining and actually touching it is real. Like- fuck, I don't know, I have to hold it and then I really hold it, and then I wake up and it's in my hands.
[He looks down at his hands then, which are still clasped around the water- which he drinks from, almost draining the glass.]
The place I go to, it's different than how other people dream. That's why it works, I think.
no subject
[Is the question that statement just begs. Bruce brings him tea next; black as pitch and a little bitter, but the best thing they have.]
What's it like? How's it different?
no subject
You called it 'junk science'. [But he takes the tea gratefully, despite having already drank quite a bit of liquid. He's dehydrated, he feels like shit, and this is better than anything else he could be handed right about now.]
It's a real place, but it's also not. Like, if you were in my world, you could go there yourself, but I can go there when I'm asleep. I can shape it, do whatever I want. I don't get- what, alien invasions or zombies or whatever it is you guys dream about. [He shrugs.] Just there.
no subject
[Is the 'junk science' conversation he remembers. But;]
How do those fit in to it being a dream? You know they're there in the ground?
no subject
[He laughs, a little croaky in dehydration, and then winces at the sharp pang it brings to his head.]
I'm... connected to it, maybe. That specific place.
no subject
[Growing implies something organic, but he doesn't want to assume.]
no subject
[He shrugs, a little halfhearted as he takes a drink of his tea.]
But I can change it, because it's my dream. It lets me do what I want.
no subject
[He wonders, stroking a thoughtful fingertip over his mouth.]
no subject
It was always there. I just didn't understand it. Too much shit was going on, I think. I didn't really use it until... fuck I don't know, a few months before we were kidnapped to the last world.
[There's a pause, before he offers Bruce a grim little smile- proud and weary at the same time.]
Chainsaw. She was the first time I did it on purpose.
no subject
[He thinks he remembers there being a name- and of course, that'd make sense.]
She's beautiful. And so devoted to you.
no subject
[He snorts a little in laughter, but it's obviously clear that the devotion goes both ways.]
I left her at home. Didn't want her picking up my bad habits. [A little halfhearted shrug.] Parrish will take care of her if I'm gone for too long.
no subject
[Says Bruce, sipping his own tea.]
I remember when that- person. Creature. Took a swipe at her.
no subject
I'm going to kill him next time I see him.
[There's a pause, and he frowns because he figures that the demon attacking Chainsaw is probably not worth a death warrant in Bruce's eyes.]
-not just for Chainsaw, but. That's part of it.
no subject
[Asks Bruce, patiently- not confrontationally, but really- he sees a lot of intention but not a lot of actual possibility here.]
no subject
[A little crass, and Ronan gives him a pointed look. Given everything that Bruce has just found out about him...]
I have shit I can do. When I'm more prepared.
no subject
[But he holds his palms up, sure already that he wants no part of it.]
no subject
I'm gonna stay here for awhile.
no subject
no subject
[More importantly. He hops down and steadies himself with a hand against the counter.]
I don't want to break the door down again.
no subject
[But. Doable.]
There isn't a second lock upstairs.
no subject
[Eventually. Ronan sighs and scrubs at the back of his head, fingers carding through his short hair.]
-later. I won't sleep here again.
no subject
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)